I feel relieved, I feel free, I feel lightened of my load.
I trust in god/universe/Tree and the wisdom it brings to me.
I have feelings that pass, feelings such as anger and resentment, often about perceived wrongs that I suffered. What I perceive/d and/or experienced is partly based on where I chose to direct my attention. Another part of my perception has to do with beliefs and attitude. Much of it need not be paid attention to. The rest of it can be viewed positively instead of negatively, based on teachings/awareness these experiences brought me. All of it can be let go, if I choose it to.
I can choose to move forward instead of backward, or simply to remain in the exact present moment, enjoying every minute blessing, every comfort, every tactile sensation, whether preparing meals or tidying spaces or typing into them. If I allow it, truly, this sense of total conscience and appreciation, it provides a buzz better than alcohol or any other toxic-to-me substance ever did, and far more wholesome and beneficial to my environment.
I have cravings that pass. Sometimes triggered by the sight of T’s full or empty wine glass. I don’t mind that he drinks a bit. I can live with this. My drinking or not drinking is my own responsibility; my own choice, not his. I turn the choice over to my higher/deeper/inner power and that makes it easy. It prefers sobriety, and it gives me the connection I crave by simply being there for me, totally accepting and lovingly.
I have boundaries. I state them clearly in my dealings with people I interact with face to face. They respect me for that. They realize they can trust me, that I’m not just appeasing them or just being nice when I say something positive, and when I give constructive feedback they listen because I say it assertively, not passive-aggressively.
I love my sobriety. It’s giving me quiet gifts every day that I persist.
Hope you all are doing well, too. :))
Lots of love