The kids all made it onto the school bus today and I am beyond thrilled. That’s about all I have to say. Oh yes except also: thanks Jackie. And everyone else supportive of my total randoms. You are amazing. And one other thing, which my middle-of-the-night blogging anxieties probably didn’t make clear: sobriety (though I still dislike the word) is a clear, beautiful choice for me. I know from experience that it doesn’t make my life much smoother, but it hands me new upgraded problems, I think, and makes me handle them in a way that I am more proud of, or in line with, afterwards. I have done some odd creative things while sober, odd enough that I can suspect myself of having been drunk, but the beauty of those things is I don’t feel true shame in myself over any of them, because I was drunk on creative energy, and not on fermented grapes. I might suffer from anxiety over them, yes; anxiety that people will judge them without knowing the whole story, anxiety that people will think I was crazy, or I don’t know what else. But not shame. I know what I did, and I did it in my right mind. At least, without any toxic substances (other than coffee, if we’re going to count that) added. And I did them honestly. Though I might have hidden my name I didn’t hide who I was. So hurrah for that.
That reminds me of a blogger I once read on wordpress, Hurrah for Coffee. Just brilliant writing. Was a long time ago. But some of the best bloggers out there are the sober ones… I love that also. Grateful to all of them for the inspo.
Thanks again, and much love to y’all.