Hiya, I know it’s been a long while. Just wanted to say that I went to a local Zoom AA meeting for the first time today. I’d been terrified to do this, and yet also ready to meet some sobriety-loving people in my own real-life community. In the end, it was so wonderful to connect with people face to face. So I highly recommend trying that.
There are awkward things to get through, like you have to call somebody to get the zoom ID and all, but I was finally at this level of “bravery” in wanting to do this.
As some may remember from my last (obviously disappointing, to me at least) post, I gave up my wonderful sober momentum in hopes of bonding a bit better with family and friends here, after a challenging past year (and I know most of us have had a challenging past year in many ways). Well, nothing terrible happened, but I just prefer sobriety. I had sort of wanted to blog about that period but honestly didn’t know how. It was a sobriety blog; not supposed to be a slipping-on-the-slopes blog.
What I loved about the Zoom meeting was I didn’t have to worry about the kids since I didn’t have to leave my house. Also I loved that it was very formatted and stuck to timing and so on. At first I thought I wouldn’t want to have video on (just audio) but then the people there were so real and welcoming and I just went for it, and fully joined in. Seriously this has been something I have been afraid to do for years… due to my own egotistical issues related to stigma. And not wanting to say “I’m so and so and I’m an alcoholic…” I still haven’t said that, though everyone else in the group seemed to be long-time members and did say it. I was the only newcomer and I said my name and then, “I’m not sure where I’m at with this alcoholic thing… but I know I prefer sobriety,” and everyone seemed accepting of it.
I’m glad I went. Part of the meeting was reading from the AA Big Book (a book which I have read most of, and love), and then the rest was discussion of the text, plus personal “shares.” The meeting was beautifully facilitated by one of the group leaders. There was no over-talking, and no one talking for too long.
I got a very good connected and spiritual feeling from it all. Blogging is nice too, and there is a great community here (—couldn’t have done that long stretch before without some of you!!—) but there is something about the real-time togetherness that makes a gathering (even if online) special. It felt basically like a kind of sangha. That’s what I’d really been missing.
I could see myself getting addicted to these meetings… :))
Today I was sober and aware, and taking it easy, one day at a time, and feeling like I’m healing from all the things, and glad and grateful for it.