Two recent sobriety successes

15:32. I’ve been away from here for awhile. I didn’t really think about drinking or sobriety from booze much, I guess that’s why. But I have recently had a couple of milestones or successes in that area, which I thought it might be helpful to document/share.

First one was that I managed to pass my first European-side-of-the-family major family gathering, at a place and with beloved folks I’m accustomed to making a lot of merry with, normally involving many shared glasses of wine, without even having a single urge to drink.

Second, I had our old friends and neighbours over for an impromptu gathering with a shared meal, again did not drink in spite of some mild peer pressure. These are my favouritest drinking buddies and our get-togethers always involved a lot of food and drink. That was much harder than the family gathering, because from the family there was no apparent notice that I wasn’t drinking, or at least no comment on it (I think they’ve heard via the grapevine a few times by now), and no pressure to drink. From the friends it’s different. It was a small gathering and I served them all the usual favourite alcoholic drinks but drank alcohol-free beer and wine myself.

These are the friends that said before they weren’t drinking anymore when we saw each other over the fence during the quarantine; that is no longer the case. But the cool thing is that it’s the first gathering we’ve had since I stopped drinking (we’ve had very few, since relations were also a bit strained) in which it did not feel awkward, i.e. like they could actually relax and just be themselves in spite of my not drinking.

It was fantastic to see them, I organized it in spite of my introverted husband’s reluctance; they were also a great help to us, showing up to help manage pouring a concrete floor, and helping prepare the meal. I felt so emotionally buoyed and energized after the whole evening, a vibe which carries through till today.

I woke up this morning raring to go, no headache, no “oh my god did I really say that,” no sore throat from smoking cigarettes either, as I used to; no regrets. My friend, who knows I was never a “bad drunk,” reasoned that it should be okay to just have one glass… but I already know from past experience it’s just a slippery slope for me to day-after-anxiety doldrums. So I explained that, and kept drinking my raspberry Tourtel Twist. And of course, being a good friend, she was okay with it.

So miracles can happen.

For anyone out there that needs to hear this… keep going, keep trying, keep strong. You will get there. It’s your life to live how you want to live it… even if it doesn’t fit the norm.

Sending much love

xoxoxo n/stl

 

***
Edit 16:27. All gatherings were during times between quarantine and in accordance with Corona regs. And no I’m not just saying that. Very grateful that quarantine has been temporarily lifted. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™ย  Amazing to connect with people besides one’s own household, face to face again. ๐Ÿ’›

 

28 thoughts on “Two recent sobriety successes

  1. Oh this is great, Nadine, and definitely helpful for me. A social triumph indeed. Iโ€™m so glad to hear it, and as always, so happy to hear an update from you! xoxo โค๏ธ๐ŸŒฑ

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  2. Way to go, Nadine. My first in-law get together (eleven months after going dry) was brutal. It was absolutely the hardest weekend of sobriety I’ve had and one of the hardest weekends in general. 4.5 years away, I no longer get the peer pressure thing. Why do they care. It’s not who you are anymore. They need to decide if they like the new you and move forward from there. I’ve missed you.

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    1. It really is difficult. I avoided all gatherings that involved drinking for that reason, as much as possible for what has felt like a long time. 4.5 years is inspiring. I agree on the setting the terms by which we live and people can take it or leave it. It’s easier for others as well if we are clear on where we stand. Awwww (on the missing me! :))!! I loved reading your blog today, very creative, I was a bit stumped for a comment since that enlarged tic image brought back some memories of removing the first one we spotted in one of our kids. They are very common here in the countryside. Thanks so much for your words and for reading mine. :))

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  3. Thank you for posting this: Iโ€™m heading for a big sobriety milestone and itโ€™s good to hear of the progress of others: keep going strong ๐Ÿ’ช

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    1. Ingrid!! Awesome that you are on the sobriety track too!! I did not know that. Kudos to you as well and thanks so very much for the encouragement, it means a lot to me. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ‹๏ธโ€โ™€๏ธ

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  4. Thank you so much for sharing this post. I’ve not had much luck with turning down drinks at social events recently but found new resolve this week. Reading about your successes and the fact it gets easier has given me hope. ๐Ÿ˜Š Huge congrats on not caving to the peer pressure!

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment, it means a lot to me to have feedback like this!! Great blog name by the way. ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘ :)) It’s really challenging isn’t it. For me I avoided most social situations at first, and when I did anticipate a situation I always pre-thought what I would say and do (and still do), it was always the truth but never very much of it, and mainly I put my sobriety first, this time around, and that’s what made the difference. Hugs and thanks again for the encouragement. ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒท๐Ÿ™

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  5. Brilliant Nadine. I think the social occasions are the most difficult, for me anyway. In lockdown itโ€™s almost been easy to pretend they donโ€™t exist but I donโ€™t want to avoid spending time with those I love and enjoy just because sobriety makes me feel awkward. This gives me hope that Iโ€™ll get there in the end. Have the fun, relaxed social life I enjoy without the booze. Great to hear from you xxx

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    1. Yes well said, this is exactly it in a nutshell! I’ve had the same issues, perhaps most of us do. It does get easier… and the benefits are something I take for granted at times but it’s so worth it. Thank you so much Claire, lovely to read you :))) xoxo

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  6. Glad you got some facetime with family and friends. And great to hear from you again. Sounds like youโ€™re doing beautifully! ๐Ÿ’•

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  7. This is so awesome, Nadine! Very cool and encouraging! I was super happy to read your post today! In a couple weeks I am hosting a super small family only party for my graduate. No big graduation party this year for her unfortunately. We have some family with compromised immune systems so I decided to keep it small and outside. This is an event I would normally drink at. All preparation is generally on me, cleaning for it on me and I work a lot. Drinking โ€œcalmedโ€ me as I crash do all of this……but it doesnโ€™t actually calm me and by the time people arrive and all is โ€œsetโ€ I am nothing but tired. (Drinking generally makes me tired.) But not going to happen at this gathering! Thanks for the encouragement to get it all done…without my โ€œfake calm.โ€ You have made me excited for this milestone!!!
    Again, so great to hear from you and glad youโ€™re doing well!!! โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

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    1. Awwwww thank you Jackie and I am so so grateful to hear what’s going on with you!! I agree, I used to drink a glass or two of wine to “relax” while preparing, now that I am used to not doing that I find I am far less stressed out in fact!! I love your resolve and congrats again on your daughters grad. It will be awesome to connect with loved ones fully present and aware and with no next-day doldrums!! Hugs and love โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’ž

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  8. So nice to hear from you! Iโ€™ve missed you and as a result I think Iโ€™ve developed a fondness for trees! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Such a positive story I love it! I have coped fine with a family party but still struggle with some friends socially so hardly go out so this has reminded me it can be good! Love and hugs xx๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž

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  9. Hi glad to find your site! We sound very much alike in terms of our drinking habits / goals. It’s always helpful to hear other experiences of “stick with it, it will get better” which is what’s motivating me to try out full sobriety in the first place. I’m apprehensive about giving it up completely, but excited to see how much better I might feel….

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  10. Nadine!
    You are doing a fantastic job! Keep it up, my friend.
    Social events are always a challenge for old drunks.

    I always have a plan for events like these:
    1.) Arrive late
    2.) Leave early
    3.) Always drive myself
    4.) Never explain why I’m not drinking booze. Normies just say, “No thank you,” and that it.
    5.) Set an alarm on my phone for when I should leave (preferably before the party is full of drunks)
    6.) If I am nervous about going or drinking there, don’t go. Life will continue and a true friend/family member would understand.

    These are pretty simple and they have worked well for me.

    Great to see your post Nadine. Sorry I was late to the show
    Happy Days!
    Bryan B

    Liked by 1 person

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