11+18 – existence

12:28. I find I still struggle to exist. A tiny flame grows, I fan it, then I burn too hot, then mother nature dampens it with fresh rain; soon the tiniest breeze threatens to extinguish it. I cup my hands around the tiny warmth remaining.

If I could only let go of attachment to my own creative flame, and instead spend all my time instead offering energy and gratitude to the Tree. Think how free I’d be.

But would the Tree benefit from the value of my offering, if it could not see me kindle creative fire like its own, in me?

And how long could I exist, without my own inner light?

Not long enough to stave away some treeless night.

.

***

11 months, 18 days of sustained sobriety. I know I have issues as a blogger, including sometimes suppressing my own blogs/posts, and/or not always communicating clearly. Thanks for putting up with that. And thanks for all your own sharing and trying and failing and trying again, and/or for your random acts of kindness. You’ve helped me grow, slow as the growing may seem. 🌱

 

 

 

 

 

 

12 thoughts on “11+18 – existence

  1. We all grow slowly here Nadine. A little bit each day. Barely perceptible some days but it’s happening. Stay strong, but flexible enough not to break … just like The Tree 🌳
    Sending love
    Claire xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good to hear from you Nadine – hope you’re doing ok. I think your creative flame is a wonderful thing and I for one want it to keep burning bright – agree with Claire and Dwight – we are all growing – slowly but hopefully surely! 💞💞xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Always love hearing from you! You write so beautifully! I have grown so much from you all here. I seem to be in a slow growing phase but slowly and surely wins the race! I love you! ❤️😘💕

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just this post as I’m running out– will read and comment later. Love and miss you Nadine! I posted My Tree and I had planned on dedicating it to you but forgot🙄. See you soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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