8+26 – blogging addiction… tree dreams…

19:00. I think I need to deal with my blogging addiction… it’s getting out of control… I’m neglecting things that need doing… I feel ashamed to admit it… it’s like I’m in a virtual reality… sure, it’s a creative one, but wow it’s like TV or something… has been for a while… one can say one has upgraded one’s addiction yes, but dear Tree please save me…

I’ve lost all reason; at any spare non-urgent moment I am glued to my keyboard, my eyes consume, my fingers create, and to what end? Here on the sobriety site it’s different perhaps, there is a clear end that seems for a greater good? But on the other two blogs, why? why do I do it? This hunger to post poems or journal entries or what have you, to show them, to have them read, and then to hunger for a response, an interaction, and for the output of others as well… on and on endlessly… I don’t quite understand it… and one says art makes the world beautiful, put it out there, yes, yes, that is my philosophy or has been… but now, what? What does it lead to? I’m a zombie, just like I said when I first joined WordPress… have I progressed? My life is same same but different… my boys are addicted as well… most people in life seem to be… not to blogging but to some form of technology… I don’t want to go against the flow but I miss the Tree…

Happy Solstice by the way… for us here in the North the days will get brighter… for those in the South the light is at its apex… it is always summer somewhere…

Kind of strange post… I’m thinking though that this blog, if I keep any of them, might be the one to keep? It moves me closest to my truest goals… I hope… tbh I don’t know…

On the topic of wine, I do have moments of missing the old life… but I always remember how tired of it I became, how much I wanted something more straightforward… perhaps my blogging addiction is just part of that journey…

I have to admit to ambition in my writing… that I would like to make some kind of book out of any of the blogs… something tangible, something I could re-read, perhaps even just to keep myself straight… but I can’t do the required work, because I’m too addicted to blogging and blog-reading to do anything else with my spare time…

Tree… I beg thee to help me… help me do the next right thing instead of these selfish obsessions, one after the other…

By the way I have just begun reading an amazing book called The Overstory, about the life of a chestnut tree, it was recommended to me by Elizabeth… thank you so much dear E…. it’s absolute literary beauty.

xoxox n/stl

p.s. but hold on… now finding that old blog link to insert for “zombie“… and skimming it quickly… I see something has changed, in a year…. I don’t obsess as much, at least, not here… I don’t edit much, I just hit publish… that is progress perhaps… let’s call it upward spiral…. lighthouse stair… but I’m such a slow spiraller…

Thanks for being here. ๐ŸŒฑ โค๏ธŽ

43 thoughts on “8+26 – blogging addiction… tree dreams…

  1. Hey Nadine – I always love your brute honesty in evaluating areas you want to work on. This ownership shows me you are beyond capable of growing like The Tree in directions that are true for YOU. No answers here. You have those. Behind every area we know must change is an emotion(s) that needs to be addressed. Just sending my love, support, and encouragement๐Ÿค—

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Dwight…. thank you so, so, so very much… your comments have always been so awesome, you’re a true loving soul with so much acceptance and honesty and I appreciate it big time. Thank you. ๐Ÿค—

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Some addictions are harmless, useful and indeed necessary. They give us a different crutch and a new focus but arenโ€™t necessary bad for us. This AF blog has literally rescued me; reading others posts, writing my own, thinking of others and trying to support them, receiving the support you all give. I am addicted to it, but Iโ€™m ok with that right now โ˜บ๏ธ
    Keep on blogging Nadine!
    Xx ๐Ÿ˜˜

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Um… thank you!! Claire…. so well said, and maybe what my inner addict was hoping to hear? Either way I’m smiling very big right now… and I feel like you’re channelling the Tree. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŽ‰

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Hi Nadiiiine โค I wonder: what deep emotional need of yours does blogging help satisfy ? Cause if it really is an addiction, then like any other addiction, instead of feeling guilty about the behavior, lovingly addressing the underlying need might be the solution…. aka: "I have to admit to ambition in my writingโ€ฆ that I would like to make some kind of book out of any of the blogs". Ergooooo I only have one conclusion: I WANNA READ A NADINE NOVEL !!!! โค I'm only half joking ๐Ÿ˜‰ Of course, Dwight is right: only you have the answers. โค But still, I wanna read that novel/poetry book/insert other art form here !!! xoxoxo Anne

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Anne… I love this answer so much… first off you are your usual amazing loving self in it… but also you have addressed the key question. One which may need a book to respond to. ๐Ÿ˜‰โค๏ธ thank you so much for this… and now my family is calling me to Sunday movie night, making fun of my blogging addiction… ;)) so I shall tear myself away for a bit. Lots of love and tons of gratitude… xoxo ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•

      Liked by 2 people

  4. All such great comments I don’t have much to add except – youโ€™re where youโ€™re meant to be doing what youโ€™re meant to be doing – I find that a helpful thought when Iโ€™m conflicted about life one way or another – and lots of people like what youโ€™re doing including me so keep on Nadine and see where it takes you – your tree will grow! ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ž

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you dear DGS… it’s definitely a reassuring thought… and your words are kind and encouraging, which always means a lot. Thanks so much for your lovely comment. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ˜˜

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I have a similar problem with wordpress. I slip into my made up online world, treating these relationships as more important than the IRL ones. The views, the likes the engagement are all crack and I always want another hit. I’ve chalked all this up to OCD, which is clearly present and was the largest factor in my problems with alcohol. It might be something to think about. It could be another way to approach your addiction.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Every deciduous tree sheds its leaves. We don’t cut the tree down because it is bare. We give it water, light, nurture and watch it grow. A branch or two may need to be pruned. In the end, the tree comes back stronger than before. Whatever you decide Nadine, your tree is solid, strong and beautiful.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. I understand completely! I don’t write as much but I read blogs and comment on them on and off allll day. It’s a little kick of dopamine every time someone replies. For me it probably has to do with not having anyone in the real world to talk to, as well.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. It’s good to hear I’m not alone in this… I am kind of isolated too except for my family… but I don’t have a lot of adult/friend interaction, well hardly any… so yes I find a lot of intellectual stimulation and emotional connection here on WP. Thanks so much for your comment Brian

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I don’t get a large enough mood boost from my blog for me to have had to worry about it becoming an addiction. I’m sure it’s not particularly helpful to say I kind of envy that you’re getting so much out of it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw that’s actually helpful to hear… maybe you’re not as affected by the drug of connection… or maybe not as much of an addict nature? Either way I’m super grateful to you for saying this and always grateful for your comments and for reading… truly. Thanks so much. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Probably a little of both. I suspect, though, that it’s not entirely a blessing. My brain just isn’t producing the happy chemicals that underpin connection and addiction – which is probably the effect of long term depression but could also be a quirk of my personal biology. Please don’t beat yourself up for a desire for connection, though, even if it can seem to mirror addictive behavior in some way – we’re hardwired for connection as a species.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Weโ€™ve talked about this before.๐Ÿ˜Š
    Is it an addiction or a passion? Writing and reading are a passion for me. Donโ€™t consider it an addiction at all. They are positive and creative outlets.
    For me I tend to spend too much time online. If thatโ€™s what you eluding to then thatโ€™s different.
    Donโ€™t stop writing โค๏ธ

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Lol you’re so right! We have talked about this before ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      I love that you keep reminding me; it’s so awesome.
      Thanks for all your kind and encouraging words, they mean a lot to me. โค๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Jackie, you’re so kind… thank you so much and I feel better for knowing you as well… you’re so supportive and generous… hugs. โค๏ธŽ

      Like

  10. oh my gosh you sound exactly like ME..i also have 2 other blogs and i write CONSTANTLY. I guess i have been looking at it as a an ongoing sort of free therapy .It has especially helped me through my alcohol recovery..but the oldest one i have started in 2008..i look back and there are a few years i barely posted at all..but i am telling ya…since i went AF i have been driven like a madwoman .And i love to see others doing the same. It is SO much better than sifting through thousands of meaningless FB posts. I know i will be getting back on Fb when my 6 month commitment is up, but only for a very few specific reasons and very limited. Blogging is WAY superior…keep going!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “since i went AF i have been driven like a madwoman” — this is just it! all my spare wine energy has gone into blogging it’s wild!! And yes definitely better than facebook. If we are creating it’s definitely better than just consuming. Thank you Lovie for the reality check. Still feels good to be here. xoxoxoxo <33

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Hihihihi, oh Nadine, you are so busted…. BUSTED BUSTED BUSTED ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… Am holding an intervention for you dear ๐Ÿ‘Š don’t worry, there will be cake and eggnog๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜‹. And about writing a book from a blog, yes, yes, yes do it Nadine. I did that two years back from one of my old blogs: Altered Life Perceptions: added details, and related to daily life and boom… A book was published… A few months later, with lots of stuff to do, I took the blog down and remained with just one ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ™‚โ˜บ Merry Merry Christmas buddy ๐ŸŽŠ ๐ŸŽŠ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AHAHAHAHA Joseph alllllllwasy love to see you…. YES intervention!!!! Well it worked… somewhat. Temporarily. Psychically perhaps? I’ve been rather good recently. Did buckle down in the real world. So there’s hope for me yet. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜˜๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ™Œ I LOVE hearing the details about your making a book from your old blogs!!! How awesome and inspiring! Do you have any links to process posts on that? Did you used KDP and if so did you upload from Word docs or what? Thank for your awesome Christmas present in the form of this comment, love love love and thanks blogging bud supreme! You are very talented, I do have your audiobook and the kindle book of your poetry and was especially loving the way you narrated it in the audiobook. Kind of like your videos which are also awesome. Lots to learn from there. ๐Ÿ‘ŒHugs and happy holidays!๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽŠ

      Like

      1. Nadine….. I bet you are having a blast this festive season ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ for blog posts, back then I was on blogspot and I remember there was an option of downloading posts and they offered options of what you want to do. Am not sure if wordpress has a similar option, am still trying to get a hang of it ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ŠBut, but, I selected out a few of the posts, basically rewrote them, spiced them up with added personal insights and more life experiences and boom… Book was ready for several revisions, reviews and when pleased with, it, it was published.
        In the beginning, while still in the US, I used KDP with Ms word (it was easier for I and it also has good formatting with content table creating and all that) Later, after moving back to Uganda, I shifted to draft2digital, sort of an aggregator, enabling I to publish across various platforms. It was also from draft2digital I got connected to findaway voices, for audio formats, avoiding additional costs. Thank you Nadine very much and I hope the audio version clarified several questions you heard. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜… Orgasmic Sinister was a toughie and myself I sometimes wonder when I read some pages from it ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ lots of love Nadine, and keep rocking this festive season ๐Ÿค˜ ๐ŸŒŸ

        Like

  12. I’m so happy you’re enjoying Overstory! Regarding your post- addiction is addiction is addiction. You haven’t ‘seen’ me in a bit because I needed a break- there are times when I feel the hangover from technology and it’s as real as the other. It’s at that point that I once again have overdone it and need to break with it- all devices- and commune with our beautiful natural world… and face to face with people. It saddens me greatly when I see everyone around me heads down and buried in their devices. We have allowed ourselves to become enslaved by it all. I want tech to be my slave- not the other way around. But there are worse addictions Nadine- and you are so self aware. You are amazing and gifted in the written word and lift my heart with your writings…. a book sounds like a plan. Love you my friend. Have a Blessed Christmas with your family and Tree. And may your New year be filled with peace and joy.๐Ÿ™โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Elizabeth… you are hitting the crux of the matter here… addiction being addiction. Yes it’s a passion to write but when it takes over other stuff that needs doing it’s an addiction and not good… I HAVE to learn to moderate with this. The past day has been better… THANK you dear friend for your super kind words, which are a real gift and I’m so grateful to you for them…. Love you too. Have a blessed Christmas too (love that) and yes, may you have a peace and joy and love-filled new year, with much good health as well. ๐Ÿ™โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ˜‡

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Nadine your creative energy has lit the spark of my inner poet. I now feel free to express the deep, emotionally pure and profound thoughts that have crystallized around some profound poetic form. I didnโ€™t realise I had the soul of a poet until now. This in deepest admiration is for you:

    There was a young girl called Nadine
    Whose blogs, to be believed, had to be seen
    She wrote in a rush
    Posted pics that were lush
    But avoided somehow the obscene

    Poet laureate?
    ๐Ÿ˜‰have a great Christmas

    Liked by 3 people

    1. There once was a man named Jim Simmonds
      Who made middle-aged gals smile with his compliments
      He blew their minds gently
      Without ever offending
      He was the poet gloriate of blog gentry.
      ๐Ÿ‘ŠโœŒ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŽถ
      Truly awesome Jim, you never fail to surprise…
      your entourage is lucky, to know such a
      wise guy. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜

      Liked by 2 people

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