7+26 – last week’s bit o’ self care

*** warning, very girly post ***

First off, just want to say huge thanks for the support received on my last post. And thanks, J., for the email check-in, I realize I’ve been a bit absent. Thought I’d pop over here to give a little update.

Last Friday, one week ago, I woke up to some amazing comments on this blog, which completely buoyed me up from my momentary pit of despair. That same day, probably thanks in part to that lovely supported feeling, I ended up doing some massive self-care.

After dropping off the kids and running some errands, I walked by the local beauty shop and saw a cute dress hanging in the window (they also sell a few clothes and things). I don’t go out shopping much (though I do have a passion for fashion, luckily most clothing shops are far away, hehe) but I couldn’t resist this one, and went in to try it on. It fit perfectly and a nice price too, so I bought it, and then on a whim I asked if she had any slots for a facial available. She did, and so I had one.

I’m pretty low maintenance, I get a haircut for €15 about two or three times a year and I mostly don’t buy expensive lotions and potions or what have you.

I’m not sure why I feel I have to justify this – I guess basically because I feel guilty about self-care. How many of us feel this way?

In our case we’re lucky to have plenty of money at the moment (but we live simply, that is part of the reason why), but we’ve had times where I was literally digging through bins of clothes that they sell by the kilogram at the local friperie (— a kind of second-hand shop in France, but this one’s more like a castaways warehouse, with mountains of strange clothes in deep bins—), one kid on my back and the others running around like banshees, while I debate whether we can afford this kid-coat for €3 plus that pair of kid-shoes for €2.

Point being, if you are reading this and feeling envious, I hear you. It’s absolutely amazing to be able to walk into a store on a whim, buy a dress and a facial on the spot and I’m seriously grateful. I believe your time will come if you keep thinking it will, and working toward it.

Anyway. It was wonderful just to lie there, no phone, no computer, no demands, no expectations, and just let this lady rub creams on and off my face. Afterwards she asked if I wanted a free makeover and I said why not.

I rarely if ever wear makeup since on the times that I do, I end up looking scary by the end of the day or night — my eyes water easily and makeup just doesn’t stay put.

The fact that I said “why not” goes to show how far I’ve come as a woman since when I was a young gal. I’m mid-forties now, but when I was in my twenties I was incredibly self-conscious and also (though I didn’t truly admit it or maybe realize it) kind of controlling, or wanting to be controlling but not knowing how to be assertive and ending up being passive. So instead of risking having to tell a make-up artist how I wanted something to be done, I would have simply avoided that situation.

In this case I had no care at all for the outcome. The lady brought me back to the front of the shop, put a chair in the middle of the space, facing the front wall of glass doors and windows. There were about 10 women in the shop all of a sudden, a total hen fest; and it was pure heaven to listen to their girly chit-chat about fabrics, make-up, and mild gossip. They were all impeccably dressed; meanwhile I’m bloody well in my pyjamas (well okay my pyjamas are yoga pants and a stretchy top but still I know they are my pyjamas so it felt a bit uncool/uncooth/un-French/untidy) plus winter coat plus runners. But I still didn’t care (too much).

In the old days if someone had put me in the middle of a room full of strangers, facing the sidewalks no less, in bright light, so everyone in the small town could watch me get full make-up done, I likely would have keeled over and died from embarrassment. But this time I just truly enjoyed every second and didn’t care who saw.

I didn’t say a word, I just let her do her thing. She used this big chunky makeup brush and this creamy foundation (I never use foundation!) and then contouring blush or something and then eyeshadow and liner and mascara and lipstick. It was an absolute dream to have someone touch my face and just pay attention to it. I wonder how many of us women miss this or don’t have this, or long for it?

It was like a warm den of estrogen and I just sat with my eyes closed most of the time listening to the other women talk to one another, and soon she was finished. Voilà! She said, and asked me to go look in the mirror.

I did look, so that I could exclaim the appropriate phrase in praise, not expecting much, but wow! I was a bit shocked. She had given me a gorgeous wash of blue shimmery eye shadow and plum lips. My face is kind of colourless naturally, so it was as though suddenly I had features. I chuckled inwardly about the blue eyeshadow (retro flashback reasons, hello, first makeup ever circa 1986) but I liked the overall effect.

I went home, put on my new dress, completed some to-do list items, cleaned the house with good music, and then in the afternoon I just lay down and had a completely disconnected rest (another thing I hardly ever do) till my husband T. came home.

“Is it some kind of special occasion?” he asked, looking at me bemused when I later greeted him at the door. He’s not big on compliments lol.

“Yes, you coming home,” I flirted. But to be quite honest it was more for me. Amiright ladies? ;))

***

Self care… and if we don’t have the money? A bath, a shower, a short nap; a browse around a local free museum or library… and a moment to write a page in our journals, with some nice things about ourselves, to cancel out the stress and any negative “radio me”— i.e. write the kind of nice things our kindest friend might say to us.

And a pot of herb tea always helps.

Again, thanks for your amazing comments on that last post. They truly touched me and made me feel deeply understood and heard. I feel very grateful for this community. There’s none quite like it.

Love,

xo n/stl

 

~ sobrietytree.home.blog; 7 months 26 days alcohol-free

oh, herewith, selfie from last Friday…

I have a face. :))

 

NadineJL20191115
feeling good

 

 

 

 

30 thoughts on “7+26 – last week’s bit o’ self care

  1. I love this post and so happy you did you…and feel great! Just made my night! Hope you keep smiling and love this glimpse of you! I have shown one of me, but deleted it. You have inspired me to possibly do a little bit for myself tomorrow. Hubby and I are doing a long overdue date night so I’m going to try to do a little me beforehand! I need it. 😂 Have a fabulous night!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Jackie you just made my morning sweet lady. Thank you so very much for these lovely kind words. This is in fact “me doing me,” as you say so means a lot to feel supported for it.
      I remember your photo and you are beautiful, “Ms. Anne Shirley”! :)))) (Your red hair!!!! #jeals!!! ;)))) Hope you have a wonderful self-care time and date night. 😊💖🙏🙌

      Like

    1. Hi Jacquelyn

      I have never blogged in my life and started a few days ago. I really would encourage it. It’s a way to check in and hopefully gain some feedback. It’s really supportive.

      Defo have some time before date night ..

      Claire x

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahahaha you are so cute! And yep that’s me too often having to “correct” my comments hehe. I do encourage the blogging, though maybe I shouldn’t, I’ll be honest it’s incredibly painful at times suffering perceived rejection, but I also think it helps us grow. People like you make it feel worthwhile 💖🙏🌻🌱 (—and keep the addiction going strong 😉😆)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. oh and about the “suffering perceived rejection” – that’s re: being able to see the views-to-likes ratio for each post. I recommend *not* looking at stats. Now if only I could take my own advice. 🤨🤓😜

        Liked by 1 person

        1. p.s. oh, and by way of encouraging you further, I know that thing about stats is just me being a big baby. People have many reasons for not “liking” something and numbers of “likes” are not always representative of value. That’s what I’ve learned from observing responses to countless other blog posts. Some (though not all) of the best and most honest pieces have the fewest likes.

          And by being our true selves we attract our true friends/communities. Which is always a good thing.

          So (she tells herself), courage!!
          (which, as you might know, originates from from an old French word that means “heart” ❤️)

          p.p.s. btw I nearly took this post down right after posting it, but convinced myself to leave it up overnight. As with the last one. Glad I did… thanks partly to you. :)) 😘😇☀️🌸

          Like

                1. I just saw it and you are SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! And such an uplifting post, too!!
                  (front-end link: https://morrisfamily2222.wordpress.com/2019/11/24/today-is-good/ ✨ WP reader link: https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/49611995/posts/87) — anyone happening upon this thread please check it out and support Jackie! She’s one of the most lovely supporters of bloggers here on WP and now, blogger too!! 🎉😇💖🌿☀️🌻🎉

                  (Jackie hope you don’t mind this, if not just let me know and I will modify this comment! :)) thanks for all your encouragement and lovely words; you help me so much 😘🙏❤️🌷xoxo)

                  Liked by 1 person

  2. You look absolutely fantastic. I love the dress!!

    Your post really made me smile this morning. I’m already grateful for the small community I have started to build on here. I know they are going to be so important to me and I hope I can support them too.

    Awake, energised (not hungover and sluggish) and so happy to read your post ☺️

    Claire xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg this is so kind! Thank you!! I truly appreciate it 💛… and congrats on your newly-seeded sobriety blog!! This wonderful online community is huge part of what keeps me going, in sobriety-land. Possibly more than anything else.

      Thanks again, and congrats also on your awake and energized Saturday morning!
      Good health and awareness rocks! 🎉🙌💖😇✨

      Liked by 1 person

    2. p.s. thanks for liking one of my comments on one of Limetwiste’s blog posts, which enabled me to find and support your new blog… that’s definitely a good way to build community! 😊💕

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Don’t know how I missed this before — thank you Wendy! You’re a huge inspiration with your lovely photos! Yes we do have to take care of ourselves in order to take care of others. Thanks again lovely friend 🙏🙏🙏💗💗💗

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Nadine
    Can I say you look stunning without sounding like an old lecher? If so, yes you look stunning. Nice to actually see your face. Yes self care, we could all take a leaf out of that book. Make up and a new dress? Not sure it’s me but might give it a go 😉
    Good to see you blossoming. Great stuff.
    Oh and did I say you look stunning.
    Jim x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are adorable (if I can say that without sounding like a cougar?) and I feel very happy now. 😄Thanks Jim it’s nice to have compliments I must admit. No such thing as old lecher for the young and beautiful at heart such as yourself. 😉 If you do go for makeup and a new dress please do post a pic, we are all waiting for it. Also, you can leave your hat on. 😁💃🏼🎩🎉

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw Elizabeth you are so sweet! But it’s all smoke and mirrors (or perhaps mirrors, but lack of smoke 😉😆) and a bit of a case of #goodfromfar ;)))) But in all seriousness “thanks for that rush of endorphins to my ego” (as another friend just said to me, in response to some praise I gave him — loved this phrase) it’s very much appreciated and makes my day 😘😘😘You are lovely 😇😇😇☀️🌸🌻💖

      Like

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