7 months of sobriety! Thank you ❤️

18:44. Just a quick post. Realized all of a sudden that today is the 7-month mark! This is actually pretty exciting for me because I feel like I could now easily make it to one year.

It’s been a bit of a roller coaster in the last month. Nearly lost my mind several weeks ago, due various self-inflicted pressures, as well as perhaps-imagined outside ones. But, thanks to a little help in the worst of times from AF wine, and the AA motto of “one day at a time,” and most of all, perhaps, due to the support I’ve found here, through you all, I made it through. :)) And am so very glad.

It feels great to know that although I still have anxiety, it’s less; and I’m not feeling like I have to hide anything. I am getting more adventurous again in finding new friendships, ones that are mutually rewarding and non-co-dependant. I still have a lot of work to do; I still at times crave to be liked at all costs, and I still have some trouble defining my own boundaries, but both of those are improving/diminishing as well. There are always bumps along the road, missteps and reoccurrences of self-doubt (for example, I published a long post here the other day, then made it private, out of self-doubt); but there is also a kind of growing sense of being okay with that aspect of my progress and of myself.

We went for that previously-mentioned hike with the math mom and our two families yesterday; she really is a gem. I’ll admit that socializing without wine is still a bit tiring for me; I’m a massive hermit crab in many ways and I used to prefer just a bit of deep-talk plus a lot of dancing and glass-clinking, when it was time to relax and let loose with friends. Now social stuff has been more centred around family activities (which means no wining is replaced by more whining, often, thanks to the younger kids; though it’s likely better for them to go on group nature outings, than play video games while the parents party downstairs). And lacking the truth serum of alcohol, and being surrounded by kids, it seems to often involve a lot of small-talking.

While I understand that small-talking (or let’s say, medium-talking) is often just a necessary part of getting to know folks, especially in all-ages situations, it’s something I’m awful at and admittedly find draining, especially in a second language with rapid speakers who use a lot of dialect. But underneath it the heart of people can be sensed, and most hearts mean well, and I try to focus on that as best I can, and the great part is that although I might kick myself immediately afterwards for my own language or conversational blunders, it’s not for long, and I never have to wonder what exactly what was said or done. Yay me.

Oh yeah and no more drunk blog posts!

Cool. lol.

Most of the time I don’t think at all about drinking or sobriety or any of that. It’s just the way life is now, and I like it this way.

Thanks so much for all your help; could not have gotten this far without y’all! You’re the Tree. ❤️

xoxox

love,

n/stl

 

 

42 thoughts on “7 months of sobriety! Thank you ❤️

  1. Well done! A year is in sight for sure. I know what you mean about small talk – I’ve never liked it much coming from a large family of loud opinionated argumentative types – prefer putting the world to rights conversations but they were always drunken ones! Need to find sober people to do that with! 💞💞

    Liked by 1 person

  2. CONGRATULATIONS Nadine ! 7 months !!! ❤ You've achieved so much and the work you are doing is so important and inspiring ❤ I can't imagine what it must be like to see the One Year mark approaching fast, so exciting 🙂 Oh, and by the way you just blew my mind with the concept of "medium-talk", I love it! I was recently jokingly talking about the concept of "whelmed" with a friend (things can be either "under' or "over", but sometimes they're just "whelming" and that's just fine – Goldy Locks style ^^). So we started using "I am whelmed" as synonymous for "contented". Now I am going to use "medium-talk" to describe these situations like the one you mention here in your post, where you can sense kindness and all, but which the "depth junkie" in us can still find boring at times. I completely understand what you mean 🙂 and in those situations I try and find some small detail which seems beautiful or surprising and try and find depth there, for myself. xxxx Big hugs xxxx xoxoxo Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Anne, you are just so kind and lovely, and now *you’ve* blown *my* mind with the term “depth junkie”! Omg I love it, that is exactly my affliction, and possibly the affliction of so many of us; alongside the urge to want to zone out from (or into?) the social sensory overload, I’ve noticed; in my case at least. Your idea of focussing on a small detail in this situations is golden. 🙏🧘🏽‍♀️🧘🏼‍♂️ Hmmmm. Feeling very “whelmed,” in this moment. Thanks, dear friend. 😊😘😘😘❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. hahahaha 🙂 ❤ yep, depth-junkie and intensity-junkie here, for sure ! I also think its perhaps not a "bad" thing per se, maybe it's just what people who are sensitive to the beauty and vibrancy of life are searching for, and now learning how to find in healthy things 🙂 xxx ❤ Anne

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, you’re much farther along at 7 months than I was. I grieved for over a year. You *will* make a year and much more because you are actually changing your life and your self. Alcohol won’t have a place in your new life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love this positive thought-energy, and I hope you are right, Jeff. I am still grieving at times, very rarely though. Thank you so much for your help… leading by example, as others have here; and also with that straightforward comment on my other blog. I think it was good to hear that blunt confirmation from someone who had no vested interest in my personal life (or its possible affect on theirs), that I wasn’t just imagining things, with regards to my increasing wine obsession. So thanks again for your honesty. 🙏👍❤︎

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Ahahaha! I think I told you this once before, you said you’d cringed internally, wondering what you might have said, then you checked it out and said you still stood by it. So don’t worry. You did good. :)) I think it was something about a christmas elf. I won’t look it up, since I’d probably cringe to read that post again now. ;))

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Congrats on the 7-month mark! That’s amazing! I can see you still struggle, but you’re doing so well.

    As for the concept of “medium talk”, I love it. I need to do that a lot too and it’s tiring.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Another commonality! I also despise small talk- I want to dig down deep right away- trouble is, you need the small talk to get there. I’m getting better at it but, like you, feel drained by it. Congrats on 7 amazing, awesome months! Any many, many more!💜

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Congratulations of 7 months sober! Way to go. Keep going.
    That small talk you talk about, go straight into deep. You may be surprised that that is what others crave too. I know I do. That’s why I love the AF blog community. Straight to the heart of the matter. The important bits of life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. That’s easy for me in English. Much harder in a second language!! I tried but must have bungled so bad — her husband ran away mid-sentence!!
      Thanks a lot for the congrats. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😂 😂😂Never give up going deep in a 2nd language. I speak Japanese and one of my most memorable evenings ever was talking deep and spiritual with some people while on holiday in Okinawa.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ah, hidden talents!! So true to never give up. I’ve had really good deep talks with certain folks here but, as in most of the world, it seems to take some small-to-medium-talk first. I think I dove in too quickly, or two blunderingly. Some folks are also more receptive than others. The topic was class systems. 😬🚫🤦🏼‍♀️

          Liked by 1 person

  7. Congratulations on the 7 months sober!!! You have done so well, I am so freakin proud of you. I suck at small talk as well unless it’s about dogs and other animals then I will listen and talk for hours 🙂 I am starting to look at people differently and see that everyone has a story and a reason for how they are (even the annoying ones) but I still treasure and protect my personal space so much and that is not a bad thing. XOX

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much FG. 💖I’m the same but for small talk around clothes and fibre arts! 😊 Dogs and animals are lovely too and definitely close to my heart, as I know they are to yours. Love what you said about protecting personal space, so true. xoxox

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Way to go on 7 months! That’s amazing! I love the part where you said something like how you most days don’t even think about alcohol or sobriety. It’s just how life is and you love it that way!
    I am terrible at small talk. At times I say the stupidest things. I had to have small talk recently and when it was over and we were going to part ways I said “Have a good…..everything!” Everything? I mean I couldn’t say have a good day or have a good lunch? I say have a good….everything. 😂
    Anyway it was great to read your post this morning and again congrats on 7 months! Next thing you know it will be a full year!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Jackie, for all your support in the form of wonderful comments; it has been really helpful!! 💖🙏😘 Omg I’m the same, with the awkward “have a good everything”‘s and all that. 😆But hey, at least we mean well, right? 😊 Thanks again lovely friend 💛 xoxoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Read this yesterday but wasn’t near a computer and I hate writing on my phone… congratulations! The feeling of not having to hide anything is perhaps my favorite part of sobriety.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Congratulations Nadine. 7 Months is a massive achievement and it seems to be as much about self discovery for you as it has about quitting the booze. I suppose the two will often go hand in hand but it really does seem to be a significant journey you are on so thanks for sharing it. Jim x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so very much Jim, I think you’re right, it’s a hand-in-hand self-discovery journey; going alcohol-free was just one part of it… which certainly helps clarify things. Love having your support, means a lot. :)) xoxo

      Like

  11. Yay! Happy 7 Months! Happy Dance for you!
    💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

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