20:27 tapping here into my phone again. But good news — husband T may have fixed the backup issue.
He found out that since 2018 my laptop may have been backing up to a different disk; one that is unencrypted and so requires no (now lost/forgotten) password. He’s got my old laptop restoring from that unnamed disk now. Takes overnight, so I’ll find out tomorrow. But I have a great feeling about it and am super grateful there’s even a chance my data isn’t lost.
Even before any of that, I had a good feeling for most of the day today. I did a lot of housework and the house was clean, and cosy and warm from the fire in the woodstove. Then the sun came out and I relaxed outside for a few minutes. I was in my bathing suit and even had a dip in the plunge pool (which is still standing!); that’s how warm it was.
Are we not all sunflowers at heart? Sometimes I think sun is the best medication there is.
I’ve been making myself do all my exercises every single day. I notice a steep correlation between mental health and even the most minimal exercise.
Today I really gave myself a good talking to. This was even *before* I found out there might be a chance that all my writing and correspondence from the past six years might still be retrievable. I’d still thought all might be lost. But basically I went into ninja self-help mode, pulling to mind useful nuggets of wisdom from years or reading and study. Such as:
– Gratitude: Gratitude is a big one. Just being grateful that I have a warm and dry place to live, that I have a family I love, that my body was in good health and so on.
– Radio Me: make it positive. I tend to do an awful lot of self-bashing in my mind. I made myself turn it around and try to say complimentary things.
– The Four Agreements (Don Miguel RuiZ). Be impeccable with your word, don’t make assumptions, don’t take things personally, always do your best. Practicing these can make the world a better place.
– Detachment plus hope. So I’ve lost the three projects I’d been pantsing on? Write a new one.
I wish I could finish this post but I can’t. Too tired, falling asleep; I kept waking up with my fingers sliding across the screen.
Anyway, bottom line, if you’re feeling down, please take it one day at a time and keep on keeping on. I’m so glad I didn’t revert to old ways which ultimately would have made things worse. To paraphrase orphan Annie, the sun will in fact [eventually] come out tomorrow. (I adore that song.) No matter how impossible it may seem.
It finally did for me, today.
Partly thanks to you all. Your support and your own writings are uplifting and act as lights I can use to navigate home even in the darkest night.
Sending love, gratitude,
vision and faith,
6 months, 15 days