16:00 Can’t believe the way the hours of a day slip away. I’ve been methodically sorting through pockets of clutter around the house (which feels great, but only after the fact) but then sat down started obsessing over a piece of writing I wanted to submit, editing it into near oblivion, which means it basically needs to be trashed and re-started from scratch. My forehead hurts when I do that! Near-untouched stream-of-consciousness writing is almost always best. At least, it allows time for real life, around it!
Meanwhile the kids are on their screens. (Total honesty. I know it’s not pretty. My strict regulation from last week has slid down a slippery slope. But I’m in the same room with them, playing curator from the background… but that means my attention is divided. i.e. Not Productive.)
But now I need to go out and get the shopping done. Must make some kind of savoury dish. Said yes to a picnic at the lake with the families of my eldest son’s two best friends! (And what am I doing instead of shopping? Writing. Yes! Procrastination is how blogging happens! Omg. I’m hopeless.)
I have been scared to do these kinds of social things until recently. How to say “no” to the inevitable offers of alcoholic drinks, without drawing unwanted attention to myself and a past relationship with alcohol that I don’t yet know how to verbally encapsulate without self-sabotaging. And how to say “no” without feeling I’m disappointing anyone.
But plainly and simply, those fears begin to ebb over time. I find some strength gathered up from all those who lit the way before me, here on WordPress — sending out heaps of gratitude.
We’re meeting on neutral territory; I’m finding that always helps.
I haven’t yet said yes to anything with new folks so far, that’s not on neutral ground. I bring my own drinks, I don’t give reasons (I just say “no thanks, I’ve brought my own”) and haven’t been asked for any so far, since it turns out that people are generally much more polite, or less curious, than I myself used to be — or they simply drink less (I’m continually surprised by this. My world vision is expanding…).
But I always do have a plan for what to say if asked. “I’m happier without it,” or, “I loved wine but not the way it made me feel the next day.” (Though that, I’m aware, might lead into “well just have a little, then!” in which case I’d say something truthful but non-detailed, such as “No thanks. Even one glass of alcohol used to affect me, and I’m really happier keeping a clear head.” End of story for now.) Bottom line, I have learned to care more about my sober self than what others think or feel… which is MAJOR for me.
So my biggest stress right now is not actually how I’ll make it at a social event with new acquaintances-becoming-friends without alcohol, but rather, what to bring for a picnic dinner at the lake, and how to have everything (and myself, and the boys) ready on time — now that I’ve dilly-dallied the day away! These French moms have their cuisine nailed…whereas my cuisine tends more toward “raw foods” (lol) than anything fancy. So, off to ma cuisine to see what I can magic, with my Canadian skills, or lack thereof… wish me luck. :))
Oh, and tomorrow, the boys and I are meeting for another hike with that other new friend, the kids’ former math teacher and her three kids. Wow, I am becoming a social butterfly again! But without the wine! It seems that as long as it’s out in nature, it’s all good. #SoberRulesOfThumb #ForTheSociallyAnxiousBeginningSobrietyFolks #WhoAlsoLoveTrees
Hope you’re all well. :))
17:06 Omg! Running out of time! Raw foods it might have to be! 😩 🤓