Day 152 – dilly-dallying the day away, and more sober socializing

16:00 Can’t believe the way the hours of a day slip away. I’ve been methodically sorting through pockets of clutter around the house (which feels great, but only after the fact) but then sat down started obsessing over a piece of writing I wanted to submit, editing it into near oblivion, which means it basically needs to be trashed and re-started from scratch. My forehead hurts when I do that! Near-untouched stream-of-consciousness writing is almost always best. At least, it allows time for real life, around it!

Meanwhile the kids are on their screens. (Total honesty. I know it’s not pretty. My strict regulation from last week has slid down a slippery slope. But I’m in the same room with them, playing curator from the background… but that means my attention is divided. i.e. Not Productive.)

But now I need to go out and get the shopping done. Must make some kind of savoury dish.  Said yes to a picnic at the lake with the families of my eldest son’s two best friends! (And what am I doing instead of shopping? Writing. Yes! Procrastination is how blogging happens! Omg. I’m hopeless.)

I have been scared to do these kinds of social things until recently. How to say “no” to the inevitable offers of alcoholic drinks, without drawing unwanted attention to myself and a past relationship with alcohol that I don’t yet know how to verbally encapsulate without self-sabotaging. And how to say “no” without feeling I’m disappointing anyone.

But plainly and simply, those fears begin to ebb over time. I find some strength gathered up from all those who lit the way before me, here on WordPress — sending out heaps of gratitude.

We’re meeting on neutral territory; I’m finding that always helps.

I haven’t yet said yes to anything with new folks so far, that’s not on neutral ground. I bring my own drinks, I don’t give reasons (I just say “no thanks, I’ve brought my own”) and haven’t been asked for any so far, since it turns out that people are generally much more polite, or less curious, than I myself used to be — or they simply drink less (I’m continually surprised by this. My world vision is expanding…).

But I always do have a plan for what to say if asked. “I’m happier without it,” or, “I loved wine but not the way it made me feel the next day.” (Though that, I’m aware, might lead into “well just have a little, then!” in which case I’d say something truthful but non-detailed, such as “No thanks. Even one glass of alcohol used to affect me, and I’m really happier keeping a clear head.” End of story for now.) Bottom line, I have learned to care more about my sober self than what others think or feel… which is MAJOR for me.

So my biggest stress right now is not actually how I’ll make it at a social event with new acquaintances-becoming-friends without alcohol, but rather, what to bring for a picnic dinner at the lake, and how to have everything (and myself, and the boys) ready on time — now that I’ve dilly-dallied the day away! These French moms have their cuisine nailed…whereas my cuisine tends more toward “raw foods” (lol) than anything fancy. So, off to ma cuisine to see what I can magic, with my Canadian skills, or lack thereof… wish me luck. :))

Oh, and tomorrow, the boys and I are meeting for another hike with that other new friend, the kids’ former math teacher and her three kids. Wow, I am becoming a social butterfly again! But without the wine! It seems that as long as it’s out in nature, it’s all good. #SoberRulesOfThumb #ForTheSociallyAnxiousBeginningSobrietyFolks #WhoAlsoLoveTrees

Hope you’re all well. :))

love,

xoxo n/stl

17:06 Omg! Running out of time! Raw foods it might have to be! 😩 🤓

14 thoughts on “Day 152 – dilly-dallying the day away, and more sober socializing

    1. I am doing well, thanks, and you are one of the ones I feel a lot of gratitude to! You were (and are) such an inspiration, thank you ❤️
      I have that same “liking” problem outside of the Reader view! And yes it is frustrating! I think it’s a glitch at the WP end of things. Sometimes I’m able to “like” posts if I use safari instead of chrome as a browser. But mostly I read from inside the Reader, in which case I never encounter that problem. Do you know what I mean about “Reader view” – i.e. backend wordpress? – e.g. this post viewed inside the Reader might be seen at this URL: https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/96716200/posts/2391375675 – does that work for you? [not worried about the like – just wondering if you use this view at all since it is much less frustrating?
      🤓] Anyway thanks for visiting and thanks again and again for your wonderful blog. :))))

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    1. 👌😂I love that. I actually did use that the first time around… because that’s how I actually felt when I started out. This time I seem to be more introverted about it, and keeping the “one day at a time” motto at the forefront… seeing how that works out for now. 🧐🤓

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  1. I love how your getting to be a little social butterfly! How exciting! I feel a new confidence level from you and that’s super exciting too! Only 1 drink affects me too, but I caved and had one at a dinner this weekend and one more at home and was tired. Then I went to sleep. Alcohol does me no good so now I’m back counting again but with a new spring in my step. 💃 Maybe I will look into non-alcoholic wine this weekend!
    Have an awesome Tuesday! 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jackie 😊💗Non-alcoholic wine has been a great fall-back for me when I want to give in, for sure. And for me the problem with the one glass was that it always led to two, then three… otherwise I was unsatisfied so no point really. 😉Love hearing your perspective and about your journey, thanks for sharing… and happy Tuesday! 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  2. When I gave up for three months I was surprised by some of my friends reaction when I asked for something non alcoholic. I told them I was taking a rest from booze and was met with derision, a pint I didn’t order or want and some general teasing. Maybe I’ll need to get some new friends! Good post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, those were most of my old drinking friend’s initial reactions, too. Hard, eh? And yes, I found I did have to find new friends… or at least, reduce exposure to the old ones, in the beginning. That made things doable for me. Thanks for reading :))

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