08:07 just spent an hour reading/replying to 10 comments. I note that here because blogging (and everything it involves) can become a little-talked-about (inside the blogging world) addiction verging on narcissism, and I’m trying to remain accountable for the time I spend doing it. Also, before I myself was blogging I was always wondering about process, how much time people spent doing it, what their kids were doing while they were doing it, whether they were paid for doing it, and if not, *why* they did it (i.e. for selfish reasons rather than altruistic?) and so on.
I really, really appreciate comments, I take time to digest them and reflect on them and I’m often not sure how best to reply to them in away that expresses my sincere gratitude for them, but I do my best anyway. Sometimes the most wonderful comments are the hardest to reply to. It’s hard to properly express my emotional response in words, especially briefly, and I’m sure I usually fail. But still I usually try.
08:14 that was the kids waking up and knocking on my locked bedroom door. Wanted to know where the poker set was. They like to play poker in the morning now that I’ve taken away more screen time. Lol. Gambling has never been an issue for me. I went once or twice with my friend’s older brother when I was a teen but didn’t spend any money (except on drinks, of course). The whole casino atmosphere just turned me off completely (I preferred loud music and dancing) and my parents always explained the impossible odds of gambling (including pyramid sales schemes and the like) from day one, so I’m lucky that way and so was my husband. But my husband (then-boyfriend) and I used to laugh ourselves silly (admittedly while drinking) playing “funny hat poker” with a bag of pennies and a stash of funny hats when I lived at my parents’ house during university days, so non-risk poker was one game for which I actually had an affinity.
I saw a poker set (in a metal case, with velvet and chips and all that) on sale at the local shop, one winter time, so I bought it as a holiday gift for my second son. I debated the ethics of it big time, standing there in the aisles and staring at the meagre non-electronic gift supply for young teen boys, but I personally think it’s an upgrade from sitting on individual screens playing god knows what, and teens, I notice (and remember), long to feel a bit bad-ass. So there ya go. They are chatting and hanging out together playing poker. Learning to interact peacefully, face-to-face.
We’re all just upgrading our addictions. Lol.
08:26 a bit more on comments. I have observed many different commenting styles.
- No author response to comments. No likes, no replies. On established blogs with many comments this works fine. The comment section becomes an entity and forum in and of itself. On young blogs, if a comment section exists, and there are few comments, this does not work at all in my opinion. To me it seems selfish and rude on the part of the blog author (not that I’m judging… ;)). Even if you have thousands of followers, but zero comments in an available comment section, and then one person leaves a comment, ESPECIALLY on your most recent post, if you’ve left your comment section open, I don’t see any excuse why you should not warmly acknowledge that comment. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
- Oh hold on. I did that once. I wrote a post about something hard to write about, and someone wrote a one-line comment with hard-line advice. The advice was some I had already known about and used myself. In my depressed state I didn’t know how to reply gracefully so I didn’t reply at all. (Lesson: blogger karma. Don’t judge others’ commenting methods, it will eventually bite you in your blogging bum.)
- I used to silently judge commenting styles of bloggers before I was blogging. I still observe and sometimes judge my own and others commenting styles and those of others. I still wonder about how best to manage comments. I still fail at “best” managing it. My general conclusion is that it just morphs over time and we have to go with whatever technique feels right to us personally. Otherwise we stop blogging. And well, anyone reading this is interested in blogs in some form or other, so we can likely all agree, that for us here in BlogLand, in our current state of being, we find blogging and/or blog-reading to be an enjoyable, perhaps even educational, inspiring and evolutionary pastime. So it’s good to keep blogging, at least in our current worldview. There are many worse things we could be doing with our time, let’s put it that way.
08:56 Woah did not mean to ramble that much on blogging. And haven’t even really gotten started yet. I should probably write a book about blogging. But I’m too much of a narcissist and a like-hound to publish without immediate appreciation just yet, lol. So I blog instead. And yes, I’ve read Deep Work by Cal Newport. (Cal, you are the awesomest dude. One day I hope to be more like you. In the meantime, I’m remain an immediate-reward addict).
Wait, but why am I rambling on about blogging, on a sobriety blog. (Have you ever read that guy Tim Urban’s blog, Wait But Why? Amazing.)
Well, I am rambling on about blogging, on a sobriety blog, because my secret wish, I suppose, is that everyone would blog their truth and thereby change the world, one reader at a time. But only when they’re ready, of course. ;))
09:02 kids are plotting something outside my door. Sun is shining! I wish I had planned something but I haven’t yet. But yesterday that worked out gorgeously, after I finally replied to new-friend’s email, so let’s see what happens next.
Feeling a lot better, as you can perhaps tell, thanks in huge part to you all. Really happy I didn’t drink over the weekend, and especially on Monday, even when I was at Wit’s End.
love and gratitude,
09:08 Before starting to type, I titled this post “social comfort zone notes.” Clearly I lost track of what I was planning to write about…