Day 100 – rainbows and new friends on the horizon

23:21 More paperwork, phone calls and emails today, and it was “good house-wifing” day as well (i.e. the day of each week that Madame attempts to bring order out of chaos in the house, in preparation for the homecoming of Monsieur).

Hot weather continues. The pool has (sadly) become the “vajewel” again. Clutter still abounds.

I made a post on Instagram yesterday with a quick imperfect time-lapse vid of my morning exercise routine, including links to sources, me-style. I’ve decided that as Sam says, my social media accounts are in fact *my* rodeo, and I shall be weird if I please.

Today I posted an impromptu walk through of our living room/kitchen, complete with all the clutter and chaos and me belting out a made-up song about it. Again I tapped out a me-style long-form caption (eschewing the three-word “play it cool” version), then let it be… and had such a lovely response.

What I notice is that when I am myself and share my vulnerabilities but with a positive or humorous (at least in my mind) twist, true friends and kindred spirits show themselves. (The rest silently watch and learn, moving from a progression of disbelief, irritation and disgust, upwards through various stages of growing acceptance to a final state of rainbow awareness piercing a giant pink cloud. Lol.)

The other day I’d had lunch with crazy friend. When I was with her, things felt a little stilted. Me because I wasn’t following my urge to strip down to underwear and jump in the river across the street in front of all the riverside patrons. Her because she wasn’t following her likely urge to drink a fair bit more wine. Though I’d wished she would… if she had had that urge… little does she likely know, seeing half a glass of wine go deliberately untouched for three hours is wearing on an ex-winoholic’s spirit.

Anyway. Although I had a pang of longing for the flow that booze used to bring to our conversation, I also realized that if this friendship petered out due to lack of alcohol then so be it. Funny how many unimportant conversations feel so much less important without alcohol to cloud the view.

I do miss having face-to-face friends though. But today something lovely happened… my eldest kids’ math teacher texted me for a family meetup date. She and I hit it off during the parent teacher meetings a couple of months ago. We genuinely had a lot in common — both trained teachers, both deliberate stay-at-home moms (that was her first year back after many years home with the kids), and kids about the same age. She is very much loved by the students at the school.

On the last day she confided that she would not be returning to our kids’ school since someone with more rank had filled the position for next year. This was sad for us to find out of course, but with one happy side-effect for me: she suggested we meet up sometime. I gave her my card and then she texted me. I didn’t know what to do at first (I strongly dislike communicating via text message) but today she texted again with options for the meet-up. Now it looks like we’ll be doing a nature hike and swim with our kids, at the beginning of next week!

This is a potential dream come true for me. To be able to discuss ideas with a peer adult (besides my husband), face to face, without having to explain them or justify them first, will be a godsend. Or a Tree-send. lol.

The weather was pressingly hot and by the end of the day there was thunder. On the horizon, arching down into the valley below, was a beautiful double rainbow.
this doesn’t actually do it justice. but you get the picture.



xo stl

p.s. I’m so tired my head keeps flopping down as I type… please excuse any errorzzzzzzzzzz



12 thoughts on “Day 100 – rainbows and new friends on the horizon

    1. Awww thanks Monica. 🤓🤗😘 I must admit I haven’t talked about alcohol-free stuff on there yet (though I do have a very basic separate account for that [@ sobrietytree]). But to me it’s already amazing that I can come out of my hermit-crab shell a little more. Which I do think is directly related to consistent sobriety.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes!! I think one of the reasons I like reading other people’s stories of recovery is because no matter how you’re doing it, if you’re not using, that’s all that matters. 🤓 It’s your story. You’re the one who decides how it gets written. 🥰🥰🥰

        Liked by 1 person

  1. 100 days!!! Wooohooo!!!! That’s a big number, 3 digits now! ….. I think the universe is acknowledging your change and hard with rainbows and a new kind of friend. Not a crazy one. ……. Your first paragraph cracks me up. 😂 I’m pretty sure that’s my husbands philosophy as well. The dishwasher is always running when I get home. Happy Saturday!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Congratulations on the 100 days, that is an awesome achievement, very proud of you. The more I do it the more I know it is right if you are not going to be your authentic self people are not going to be liking / loving you for who you really are. There are different levels of myself that I share because of course there is people who are my tribe my Soul Sisters that I feel comfortable enough around to just be me. Hope your hike and swim go well, sounds like a great way to spend some time together. Best advice I can give is just be you, so if your friendship develops and grows it is because she enjoys being with you. XOX

    Liked by 1 person

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