23:42 Exhausted… but satisfied. Crazy time of year… the kids finishing school, so much to do and plan and attend and arrange and take care of, not to mention random unexpected things like kid toothaches (ridiculously hard to get a dentist or doctor appointment here in the zone of emptiness — but I succeeded!) and blow-up-pool leaks and all that good stuff…
Just feeling really happy that I drank a couple of glasses of Bonne Nouvelle this evening, instead of alcoholic wine. Yes herb tea or water would have been better… but I was so stressed and having a glass of what amounts to red juice basically gave me a bit of comfort. Again, funny that the bottle does not seem to magically empty itself… and I even find myself pouring some back into the bottle, after I’d finished filling out the 469th French school re-registration form.
Yesterday I received an email from a relative-in-law that I found upsetting… and (egads) I sent a reply. Not confrontational, just as honest yet kind as I could muster (yikes). I’m tired of letting things like that go. (What am I talking about… do I ever let things go?) “As the Butthole Surfers said, it’s better to regret something you did, than something you didn’t do. Seen ’em come, seen ’em go.” (The Red Hot Chili Peppers.) Hmm…
Wish I could be more like my husband sometimes. Letting emails just slide in and out of vision without much thought. Sees ’em come, sees ’em go. Lol. (But seriously. It’s pretty zen. I do admire it.)
Sunday morning my main activity was fixing the big inflatable-ring pool. It had worked itself into a very strange shape; let’s just say my husband was calling it the “vagool.” (Or “va-jewel”? you had to be there; I was in stitches. Though I thought it was more like an “amni-ool” or “cervic-ool”… anyway.) Required emptying, cleaning, repairing leaks, wrangling into exact level position; basically took me three hours to get it back to plain-old-pool-shaped. While husband and eldest son were helping repair a roof. And the other kids were mostly NOT helping (in spite of my cajoling, as I wrestled from deep inside the masses of scungy blue plastic of the deflated va-jewel). Instead, begging me to let them back onto their technology. #livingourbestlives.
The friend, the dear crazy friend… Must admit I’ve not been keen to write about her… part of the reason is because she is dear, and part of the reason I feel more at peace with it all, this time around, and thus accepting and grateful for her “beingness,” just as it is. So far it’s been drama-free. Part of the reason for that is I’ve done things differently from last time. Long story short: “fail to plan, plan to fail”… and this time I’d made a coping strategy, and so far have stuck to it; and she seemed respectful of it all, in her own crazy-friend way, and I felt grateful to her for that, and basically it’s all just peachy keen. And I’m still a sober queen.
Thanks so much for all of your support… it seriously means a heck of a lot. I’ve been partying sober with you all in my mind, during this form-filled time.
Vision and faith,
Nts: I had to edit this one for clarity the next day…. it was such a tired mess. Backdated the publish time [00:38] to before midnight, so that the URL date would be correct. Yes I have OCO issues.