Day ?? – I want to be healthy

08:45 My phone is not near me so I don’t know what number of days it is. My genius eldest son (well they are all geniuses lol) made me a desktop day counter but its still in beta so not sure if it’s reliable. Yesterday I may have put the wrong day in the title.

The heat is climbing; this makes me feel so happy and filled with good intentions. I’ve been ruminating on my health and body; I’ve been exercising my mind but not my body nor my spirit enough.

Yes it’s only 10 lbs, it’s taboo to talk about 10 lbs extra in our culture, for fear we get labelled self-hating or anorexic, or make those of us with more than 10 lbs extra feel bad, and yes, we need to be careful of not going off the deep end, but I don’t have an eating disorder (though I’ve dealt with overeating and binging at various times in my life; when I am depressed my tendency is to eat more, not less) so I have to view it from a different perspective.

For me, this 10 lbs extra is a sign that I am not taking well enough care of my body, I don’t mean that in a harsh way; I mean that in a loving way. I have been 15 lbs lighter than this at my lightest adult weight, so I know what it feels like, and I was strong and healthy and filled with joy and happiness, not because of my weight, but because of my view on life at the time; and then my weight followed. But also because I was taking good care to monitor what was going in — more water, more water, more water, more fruits, more veggies, less sugar and chips and non-water drinks (back then it was wine if it was not water or tea or coffee. Now it’s near-drinks and diet cola. Yes even diet cola takes its toll, since it the sweetness stimulates a sugar craving and anyway the chemicals rot the gut. I researched this extensively in the past.)

I was viewing things through a very positive lens. (I was also at the tail end of breastfeeding a toddler and running around after three other little ones, so the calories were pouring out of me.) Now I realize, “okay going back to that lowest weight is perhaps unrealistic, since I’m not breastfeeding, nor having to run around as much anymore,” but losing the extra 10 lbs will enable me to feel light and full of motion again, like I am indeed more inclined to run instead of  walk.

I do want this.

But first, first, first, I have to work on spirit. Gratitude, even for the sunlight patterns on the wood floor on a Sunday morning, can be enough, if built upon and carried throughout the day, to change the mind and then the body.

This is what happened last time: My attitude of gratitude changed my mind; my mindset (and appropriate actions) changed my body. And then my light, strong body in turn made me feel happier. Perfect circle.

First step, this morning, I tuned into my version of god-energy, and said thanks for what I was thankful for. Then I said, “tell me what to do.”

And the god-energy said: “Do your sit-ups.”

And that’s how I started my exercises this morning. One little action leading to another.

By the way for the past 15 or so years I have used a personalized version of the exercise program listed in the chapter called “What me, exercise?” of a free online book called “The Hacker’s Diet.” This book was written by computer- and life-hacker John Walker.  This chapter lays out a 15-minute daily exercise routine based on military calisthenics.

I have modified the routine slightly to incorporate some butt-firming exercises (lol) and a yoga sun salutation. And I usually do a quick walk or run in nature instead of the running on the spot. But I highly recommend anyone squeamish of exercise read this chapter since it allows each person to start wherever they’re at and build upwards from there, using what Walker calls “The Lifetime Ladder.”. E.g. 1 sit-up for the first week, the next week 2 sit-ups etc.  all the way up to fifty-something which is where I’m at. You don’t need any equipment whatsoever and it never takes more than 15 minutes per day, every day. So it costs zero money and very little time.

I never read the rest of the book, for the record; just that chapter… I came across it all those years ago by typing in a search for “how to exercise when you hate exercise” or something like that.

A couple of my old favourite diet/health books are the classic “Diet for a Small Planet” by Frances Moore Lappé, and “Eat to Live” by Joel Fuhrman. There’s also the 1939 natural health bible “Back to Eden.” Oh and this Amazon review (yes the review itself!) of “Naturally Thin,” a diet book by Bethenny Frankel (one of my favourite Real Housewives, lol).

I know everyone loves to know actual figures, so I’ll put mine here:

I’m 5’4″ tall (163 cm) and I currently weigh 130 lbs (58.5 kg). I’m between 38/40 French dress size (36/38 euro, probably size 8 US, size 7 Canadian, size 10 UK…). My natural body is “ruler”-shaped (i.e. athletic; mesomorph). Though I have always longed for hourglass, this will never be my lot in life, so long as I keep it natural, which I intend to. Nor will I ever look stick-thin. Which I am also okay with. I rather look lean and strong than thin and weak.

I felt most free and elastic and vibrant at 115 lbs, easy size 36 French dress size (8 Uk, 4 US, 5 Canadian…) but that was nearly impossible to maintain (though maybe needed a mindset change). The most realistic lower-end weight for me to maintain is around 120 lbs. Or at least, that what my mind thinks. Funny how the mind works.

I know publishing figures won’t necessarily make me popular. But it’s what I’ve always wished for on other diet/exercise articles, so there ya go.

xo st

p.s. One last thing: perhaps the number one thing that kept me lean, in the past, was being busy doing things for people besides myself.

Amen to that. Move it sister, away from this screen and into the household, into the neighbourhood, into the community. (Eek. Scares the sh*t out of me.)

Edit: It’s day 67. :))

4 thoughts on “Day ?? – I want to be healthy

  1. I feel you! I’m 5’3 and weighed 132. Felt awful. Did get it down to my current, 123. I feel so much better and my mind set is better which is helping me overall in my journey of dealing with emotions without alcohol. My goal is 118 because that’s what I weighed before kids and felt so good at. I work 6 days a week but have been trying to run a mile ( started at half a mile ) whatever days I can. I think I will this morning before groceries. I really want to feel confident within myself appearance wise because I know it will help me emotionally as well! I don’t enjoy working out but a quick run on a beautiful day does work for me. After a mile I dread running and have nothing positive to say so I don’t foresee myself gaining in mileage. 😂 We shall see how I do! Good luck to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I love this Jacquelyn thanks for so much for this. It’s funny how these seemingly small things can make a big difference. Also I hope to be able to comfortably fit into most of my clothes again! :)) Very encouraging to hear that your mindset is already better. I exercised and have been drinking lots of water instead of more “fun” drinks and eating fruit today and I actually already feel better just from that. But the sun helps a lot too. :)) Thanks again and good luck, likewise! <33

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I think sharing stats is good. It shows how we are all different. I’m 5’9″, pretty toned and 180lbs. US size 12 or 14 depending upon brand. I am most happy as an 8 but realistically a 10 would be fine too. I’ve got more than 15 to lose to get there but it’s harder when you only have those few pounds to budge. Good luck and congrats on Day 67!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “I think sharing stats is good. It shows how we are all different.” Love this so much! true that. Thanks for sharing yours. Thanks also for the congrats, and “bon continuation” (literally “good continuation”), as they say here in France, with your sober journey too! 💛


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