Hi guys, I’m doing well at Day 50. It’s starting to just feel normal. I do feel kind of “cracked open” at times, i.e. suddenly emotional, but today I was really into doing art stuff and writing and that felt pretty good. To the sad detriment of the household chores though! So I have to get on it for tomorrow, ’cause the hubster comes home lol. I loved being with the boys (my kids) tonight, I had pre-banned tech for the after-school period, we had an early dinner and then sat around doing arty stuff, it was a rare dream come true. At story time my youngest guy sat there “styling” my hair with a bath sponge and a toothpick, it was a real treat. So thanks god and Tree.
Lots of love, and hope you’re well,
p.s. I suggested to the stock guy at the local shop that they move the non-alcoholic wines and beers out of the alcohol zone! So I’m getting braver! (Tried to find the post in which I previously mentioned that, alas, to no avail.) xo
p.p.s. I know I said I didn’t feel like counting days anymore but then the next day I did again… and well I’m just going with the feelings and the flow. Which really seems to be working for me. So there we go. :))
[Post-publish edit:] p.p.p.s. I wrote this post too quickly. I may have cut off tech for my kids but I didn’t cut off tech for myself last night! I still have to work on that. I like to feel connected via writer’s social media. Still, for the boys it was great since they were busy with their own creative projects. My son is making things with his CNC router and the others are into popsicle-stick art and playing outside. I am still attached to writer social media like it’s a heroin drip. One thing at a time, though, right? ;)) I learned that from last time — not to try to get perfect all at once.
[Post post-publish edit:] p.p.p.p.s. Oh dear now I have said “I am still attached to writer social media like it’s a heroin drip” which feels “politically incorrect” since, for the record, I never once tried heroin…
I would also like to note for the record that the reason I never tried heroin, experimental and “researching” adventurer though I was in my wildish teens, is probably only because: 1) I thankfully was never was exposed to it, but that’s partly because I never wanted to be, partly because there was a HUGE stigma against heroin, unlike the fact that there was near-ZERO stigma in the “cool crowds” against alcohol and/or pot and/or even the occasional line of cocaine (this was the 80’s, people, and BTW any of you curious kids happening upon this: cocaine makes you unconsciously foam at the mouth, gives you crazy-eyes, and puts holes in your septum; highly unattractive, not to mention dangerously addictive and ridiculously expensive. It wasn’t my drug of choice for all those reasons, seemingly ubiquitous as it came to be during that era, but I got to see its awful and often violent side effects firsthand at certain parties.) 2) my parents provided a sheltering environment (i.e. I’m hereby acknowledging my lucky situational environment to begin with) 3) needles (yikes, blood, AIDS, scars, etc.) 4) there being a fair bit of preventative information about it going through the schools due to the AIDS epidemic at the time 5) my own library research (there was no world wide Interwebs back then) for an English lit essay on drugs — all of which pointed to the fact that even if you could get past 1 through 4, heroin wasn’t worth trying even once, due to its ridiculously addictive nature, as well as the risk/cost vs benefit. Thank you amazing lit teachers everywhere.
p.p.p.p.p.s. OMG have I said too much and with too many brackets
p.p.p.p.p.p.s. Yes I am a freak. But in a good way, right? :))
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. Word Wide Interweb — For Your Consideration (2006). Such an awesome movie.